When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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