hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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