Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
