Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
