VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just want to make out with him forever
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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