Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
