New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
