I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
