My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
