he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
