I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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