Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish I only lived at night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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