brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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