I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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