Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
