So drunk its hurt
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
