She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
