PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
