it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
