so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So vagazzling was a success
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
