Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
