All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
