I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
