At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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