i would punch a child for taco bell
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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