Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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