hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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