I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
