It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
