It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
