he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
