i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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