So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
