Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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