she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
