Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We're too hungover to prance.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
