do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
