she was so not down for the gang bang
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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