come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
