I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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