Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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