Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
