Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
