I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
