i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
