Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
