the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
