The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
