idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
