She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
sex in a hospital.. check
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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